Parenting Tips – Family Matters
This page is dedicated with LOVE to MY PARENTS
and to the PARENTS who read this page.
Parenting is extremely important!
Thank you for all you have done, and will do, to help to create a more loving world by how you love and care for the children in your life.
I offer the following insights with the hope that they might serve you and those you love.
“While we all hope that our children will do well in school, we hope with even greater fervor that they will do well in life.
Our job is to help them know and appreciate themselves deeply, to be resilient in the face of adversity, to approach the world with zest, to find work that is satisfying, friends and spouses who are loving and loyal, and to hold a deep belief that they have something meaningful to contribute to the world.”
– Madeline Levine, PhD
Many of the following insights are new for me…
I would have loved to have discovered these insights before learning about them the hard way.
The good news is I’ve been cracked WIDE open and my capacity to love is now greater then before.
SERVING vs. Controlling
Instead of trying to control children’s behavior (or anyone else’s), what do you imagine would change if we focused on SERVING the person we are with (so they feel fully honored & respected and feel zero reduction in their freedom)?
Integrity is the essence of everything successful.
– Buckminster Fuller
Where there is integrity, trust is higher, where trust is higher communication works better, when communication works better, people understand and feel understood more fully, and all of this leads to deeper love and a healthier, happier family!
Parents are usually more careful to bestow knowledge on their children rather than virtue, the art of speaking well rather than doing well; but their manners should be of the greatest concern. – Buckminster Fuller (Parents manners should be of greatest concern.)
Imagine your child saying this…
Don’t try to make me consistent. I am learning all the time.
– R. Buckminster Fuller
Children are fast learners; what are they learning by watching the people around them?
The most important thing to teach your children is that the sun does not rise and set. – Buckminster Fuller
(When children understand their connection to the whole, nature, and life as a system – they are in a much better position to thrive.)
Let children overhear you telling a friend or relative on the telephone about something they did well. Kids who overhear objective, non-demanding praise will have their confidence reinforced. This can also motivate desired behaviors. (From Love & Power: Parent & Child by Glenn Austin)
Listening to Children and each other
LISTENING – means LISTENING TO UNDERSTAND the other person’s experience, and what they wish to communicate. This takes practice, presence, an open heart, and courage.
Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness. – Seneca
Desires are ok, and so is delayed gratification
Instead of simply saying “no” to children, adjust with, “No, not now.” This tells children that “they’re ok” and “what they want is ok”…but “not right now.” Delaying gratification also teaches children, the important lesson that they can’t always get what they want exactly when they first want it.
Since we know little about another persons unique path, it’s wise to avoid judging, but instead appreciate their path.
What new games would be fun?
Anything can be accomplished with a playful attitude and some things can only be accomplished with a playful attitude. – Richard Bandler
A Personal Note: What I experienced growing up with my parents and sisters, and then in my relationships, since then, has fed my desire to discover how to relate with passionate, and conscious love and skill. I imagine this will be a life long journey. I am and will always be deeply grateful to those who have shared themselves with me.
The Love Course is my offering for those who wish to explore the art of creating great love and family relationships with others who share this desire.
A little bit, about The Love Course:
TLC – 1 Attraction
TLC – 2 Partnership, Communication and Family Dynamics
TLC – 3 Legendary Love, Epic Sex, The Art of Gifting, Loving and Serving…
What would happen, if before communicating with a loved one, we paused and checked in (internally) and asked …
How would LOVE, LISTEN?
How would LOVE, SPEAK?